Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
