Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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