An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
