am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize