there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
