Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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