he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
