he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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