BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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