I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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