69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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