i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
