is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
