My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
