Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize