I want to stick my p in your. b.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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