she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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