Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
