I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
