I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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