It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
