unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
