At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize