DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
