I wish I could punch you in the face.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
