He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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