Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
