Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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