Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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