Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
