are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
