Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
