i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We have so much sex to catch up on
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
