the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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