Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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