new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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