Don't make out with my wife yet
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
