I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
