I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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