that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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