everyone is single if you try hard enough
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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