And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
that is very illegal...i love you.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize