just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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