new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize