the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
