wrigley field is MILF paradise
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
