She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
