Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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