I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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