I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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