so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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