I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
