wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
