apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
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