I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize