I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
